Randomness

Thought I would start a blog for those cases of randomness that need to be put out into ink-thoughts. So, here we go. First blog.

I don’t know.

Those are the three words that were being tossed around in my head yesterday while I was out running. Those are the three words that are keeping me awake now, so I will write out my thoughts and in turn, share them with whoever is reading this post in hopes that if you think about this too, you will find you are not alone. I often do, think of these words, and I imagine that most, if not all people do, at some time or another, even if it is in secret so as not to appear weak; there are times when we just don’t know. Don’t know what is next, or how it will turn out, or what is the right path, or if we will fail, or succeed, or be able to maintain equilibrium; wondering if it will all turn out ok, or maybe that it won’t turn out like we planned. Sometimes trying to figure it out is just exhausting.

So what do we do when we come up against all this - the questions, the uncertainties of what we just don’t know? We do the best that we can and take it one day at a time. This may sound simple, but the alternative is to drive ourselves mad with worry and over-analyze to the point that the details crowd our thoughts to over-capacity and cloud our judgment, making us blind to what matters most in our lives.

The not knowing can be overwhelming, and the challenges too intimidating. Sometimes it can feel like being at the bottom of a hole, trying to climb out, and can be a lonely place to exist in. It is at these times that we must take a breath and just be, stand up, climb back out, then do the best that we can and leave the rest. To sum it up, I think of it this way:

If you get down to the lowest of the low,

If you are at the bottom of the muddy hole,

Catch your breath, get your bearings, gird your strength, and choose.

Choose to stand up, though mud soaked and weak,

Begin to move, in spite of the weight against your feet.

Choose to look up at the light and adjust your eyes,

Reach out for the rope, grasp it tight, and climb, climb, climb.

If you fall, get up again, don’t give up or stop,

Keep trying, keep fighting, until you are near the top.

Feel the warmth of the light as it hits your cold skin,

Fight against the dark beneath you that wants to pull you back in;

Ignore the thoughts that say you are too old, too sore,

And reach out for the hands that wait to grab yours;

Reach out for those hands, let them pull you into the light,

And feel the life come back into you, as you say goodbye to the night.

No, we may not know, what will be in our tomorrows,

Or when we'll turn corners and find joy or sorrow.

But what we do know is that we will not be alone,

And will always have a place to call home;

That home is found in the hands that hold us up,

Joining together with our hands, filling up our empty cups.

As long as we have hands to hold,

And friendship and love, we will never grow old.

So when you get down to the lowest of the low,

And the words that tumble in your head are “I don’t know,”

Know this: you are not alone.