Fight The Rut

I once heard someone say that they didn’t like change; that they were like a rusty nail; once in, they wanted to get in a rut and stay put. I could say that the person who made that statement was very happy with her decision, but she was not. She was tired, worn down, and bored with life, but firmly resolved to never do anything about it. This bothered me, and I filed away what I had heard and observed to remind myself to fight against that state of existence.  I don’t think anyone is born into this world to get into and remain in a “rut,” merely existing in a state of disconnected staleness.

At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I must say – we have one life. And we should fight against apathy and the numbness that can set in if we let it slip past us; it is all too easy for the adage to take hold – “I’m too old, it’s too late, I can’t, I won’t ever, it’s too hard, I’m too tired, I don’t have what it takes.” If we choose to fall into that state of being, we will end up living a half-life, and instead of dancing in the rain, we will be just like that rusty nail, corroding inside a wall of disappointment and regret.

I recently watched a television show in which a character was stressed out and feeling trapped in his life, and very unhappy. He lay down on the couch in his office to catch his breath, and looked up at the ceiling. A movement from the fluorescent light above his head caught his attention, and he noticed that it was from a fly that had become stuck inside the light. He watched as the fly buzzed around seeking an escape from its prison, as if secretly hoping that if it could find the way out, perhaps he could too.

We are not as helpless as flies, but at times it can seem that way. It is all too easy to slip into a trap where we can get so wrapped up in a day-to-day routine, so busy trying to morph and adapt to a specific environment or social culture, or to fulfill expectations that have been placed on us, that we begin to dismiss the things that we are really passionate about. This should not be. Every one of us has something we really love to do. It can be music, dancing, singing, reading, painting, skateboarding, acting, riding a motorcycle, cycling, sewing, cooking, writing, just about anything. If it makes you happy, and you enjoy doing it, than do it. Why not? Don’t let what you really love to do slip from your grasp and fall away like a linty post-it note. I am not saying we do not need to be responsible. Of course there is daily life. We don’t live in the clouds; the princess isn’t always graceful, and the prince isn’t always charming. Sometimes she’s in a bad mood and he falls off that white horse. We work, we pay our bills, we buy food to eat and wash the dishes, take the dog for a walk, and empty the trash; these things are a part of life. But that is only a part of who we are; there is an entire other side of us that should never die out. Both sides should subsist together, so that one is not without the other. This is the balance that is needed.

Regardless of age, there is still a kid in all of us; but we are also now adults, capable of finding our own way to navigate life and still be alive and adventurous, find happiness in the simplest of things, and not over-think so much.

Whatever it is that you love to do, do it, and you might just find that you have become rust-proof along the way.

Randomness

Thought I would start a blog for those cases of randomness that need to be put out into ink-thoughts. So, here we go. First blog.

I don’t know.

Those are the three words that were being tossed around in my head yesterday while I was out running. Those are the three words that are keeping me awake now, so I will write out my thoughts and in turn, share them with whoever is reading this post in hopes that if you think about this too, you will find you are not alone. I often do, think of these words, and I imagine that most, if not all people do, at some time or another, even if it is in secret so as not to appear weak; there are times when we just don’t know. Don’t know what is next, or how it will turn out, or what is the right path, or if we will fail, or succeed, or be able to maintain equilibrium; wondering if it will all turn out ok, or maybe that it won’t turn out like we planned. Sometimes trying to figure it out is just exhausting.

So what do we do when we come up against all this - the questions, the uncertainties of what we just don’t know? We do the best that we can and take it one day at a time. This may sound simple, but the alternative is to drive ourselves mad with worry and over-analyze to the point that the details crowd our thoughts to over-capacity and cloud our judgment, making us blind to what matters most in our lives.

The not knowing can be overwhelming, and the challenges too intimidating. Sometimes it can feel like being at the bottom of a hole, trying to climb out, and can be a lonely place to exist in. It is at these times that we must take a breath and just be, stand up, climb back out, then do the best that we can and leave the rest. To sum it up, I think of it this way:

If you get down to the lowest of the low,

If you are at the bottom of the muddy hole,

Catch your breath, get your bearings, gird your strength, and choose.

Choose to stand up, though mud soaked and weak,

Begin to move, in spite of the weight against your feet.

Choose to look up at the light and adjust your eyes,

Reach out for the rope, grasp it tight, and climb, climb, climb.

If you fall, get up again, don’t give up or stop,

Keep trying, keep fighting, until you are near the top.

Feel the warmth of the light as it hits your cold skin,

Fight against the dark beneath you that wants to pull you back in;

Ignore the thoughts that say you are too old, too sore,

And reach out for the hands that wait to grab yours;

Reach out for those hands, let them pull you into the light,

And feel the life come back into you, as you say goodbye to the night.

No, we may not know, what will be in our tomorrows,

Or when we'll turn corners and find joy or sorrow.

But what we do know is that we will not be alone,

And will always have a place to call home;

That home is found in the hands that hold us up,

Joining together with our hands, filling up our empty cups.

As long as we have hands to hold,

And friendship and love, we will never grow old.

So when you get down to the lowest of the low,

And the words that tumble in your head are “I don’t know,”

Know this: you are not alone.